Amazing to know I have more to say on this right? I apologize for my last post (I guess I should have split this into 3 parts), but it is so hard to shorten these profound and completely relevant points that Fr. Loya has made. This post will be more concise and will contain two points: honesty and language.
First to address honesty. Most people would agree that honesty is part of what makes a person good, but Fr. Loya took that one step further. His argument is one of alliteration: Being honest will help make you holy, what is holy will bring happiness and also lead you to heaven if you are dishonest it will go in the opposite direction and result in harm of some kind.
Second point - language - is something more than just words. Fr. Loya talks about the language of the body. The language of the body can either honestly reflect the words you say or not. If two people become one in marriage, that means you are completely unified. You give the total gift of yourself. If you "speak" honestly with your body that includes everything, including your fertility. After all, God did make it possible to postpone pregnancy while still telling the truth with your body.
His conclusion: The Church is against contraception, not because they want lots of children to ease the shortage of priest, because it is a way for you to lie with your body.
Showing posts with label Theology of the Body. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Theology of the Body. Show all posts
Monday, November 9, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Girl Power
So I tried to keep yesterday's post short and failed. I'll do better today. One point that Fr. Loya highlights from Pope John Paul II's TOB and repeats quite often just needed to be on its own to make a full impact. Ready?
Woman is the archetype of the human race. He didn't say this as a joke claiming Adam was the rough draft, he explained it as our gift of receptivity. The human race was created as
something that God could pour His love into. Woman's body reflects that, so we are the archetype. I teased my fiance, now husband, when I heard him say this. I repeatedly asked him to answer who was the archetype because you don't hear the answer of "woman" very often to that; after all, Adam was created first. In reality, we aren't better or worse than men, just different.
I just had to point this out and put extra emphasis on woman. It is so easy to look at the practices of the Church (only men can be priests etc.) and forget how much admiration is found for women. A pope declared woman to be the archetype and truly respected all that we were created to be. I find it sad that most people can't understand that and think I am part of a religion that is oppressive to women when I feel the exact opposite.
Woman is the archetype of the human race. He didn't say this as a joke claiming Adam was the rough draft, he explained it as our gift of receptivity. The human race was created as
something that God could pour His love into. Woman's body reflects that, so we are the archetype. I teased my fiance, now husband, when I heard him say this. I repeatedly asked him to answer who was the archetype because you don't hear the answer of "woman" very often to that; after all, Adam was created first. In reality, we aren't better or worse than men, just different.I just had to point this out and put extra emphasis on woman. It is so easy to look at the practices of the Church (only men can be priests etc.) and forget how much admiration is found for women. A pope declared woman to be the archetype and truly respected all that we were created to be. I find it sad that most people can't understand that and think I am part of a religion that is oppressive to women when I feel the exact opposite.
Who is Man for Woman? Part 1
I commented here on the topic of marriage and brought up the name Fr. Loya. Fr. Loya was blessed with the opportunity to study in Rome and here Pope John Paul II speak on Theology of the Body. One of the Pope's most memorable quotes for him was:
I am not a theologian so if you want all his biblical references that support his point you should definitely get this cd. Instead, I will mention a few "real world" examples that he mentions that I find helpful in conversations on this topic -
His first point that is made involves compliments (different things that go together). Many compliments can be found in the world - night and day, man and woman, work and play. In those examples, each is more appreciated and life is more balanced when they go together. More than all the artificial, immoral and emotional arguments for and against marriage, biology can prove to be a strong resource when explaining why there is a "natural order" found in the marriage between one man and one woman and all pro-life and NFP ideals.
Women are internal and men are external. Women like to bring things to themselves and men like to act outwardly which is mirrored in our anatomy. This comes down to how young children play with toys. Boys like to test toys and bang them against things (car crashes) and girls like to play house or play with dolls and create connected stories. This phenomenon continues through life. Women are internal and connected. We like to talk with each other, we like to console others and not worry about solving a problem. Men are made for separateness and external acts. They want that "man cave" to withdraw after a long day of problem-solving. They usually do not want to talk just to talk - they want to solve something. They withdraw and re-energize so they can come back and solve all the "problems" you bring up when you talk about your day.
When I first heard this talk, before I was married, I did not realize how true that was. One of the adjustments when my husband moved in after the honeymoon, was giving him some time to "withdraw" after a hard day. There is nothing that I can do to help him because that is not how he was made. I was also amazed at how many times I would clarify that I was not talking about a "problem" and was not looking for a solution.
Going back to the complimentary aspect. Women are internal: they want to help other feel loved, accepted, build community, etc. Men are external: they want to solve problems. Both have a hugely important role in our lives, but they need balance. It sounds stereotypical, but it is true in my life. The procreation difference (obviously same-sex partners to do that differently) is losing ground with contraception and IVF among other things - but our biology has stayed the same. We were created differently but equal.
The way I understand it in my life comes down to this scenario
When someone has had a hard day
Me to my husband: how can I help you relax/feel better?
My ideas: back massage, relax, have time alone while I clean up dinner
My husband to me: how can I fix the problem
His ideas: create a to do list, find a way to make x problem not occur again, if that is not possible find way to adjust routines etc. so problem is not so upsetting
Now, I am not saying that is the only thing my husband and I do. I want to help him fix problems and he wants to help me relax, but our first instincts are different and we learn from each other how to do that which does not come naturally.
Humanity, its dignity and its balance will depend at every moment and on every place on the globe on who man is for woman and who woman is for man. - Pope John Paul III believe the thesis of this talk is: To understand marriage, love and sexuality you need a total vision of man. If you can't fully answer the question "Who is man for woman and who is woman for man" you cannot understand Church teaching on this topic. I think that is 100% true. I hesitate to write the post because when narrowed down to a blog it may sound like it just plays on stereotypes and is insensitive to people who don't fit the norm. That is not my goal in any way. The goal in this post is to touch on something I feel to be true - God made man and He also made woman. We were both designed to be perfect and I would say equal. However, something else I have found true in many ways over the years - equal does not mean the same. Please read with an open mind.
I am not a theologian so if you want all his biblical references that support his point you should definitely get this cd. Instead, I will mention a few "real world" examples that he mentions that I find helpful in conversations on this topic -
His first point that is made involves compliments (different things that go together). Many compliments can be found in the world - night and day, man and woman, work and play. In those examples, each is more appreciated and life is more balanced when they go together. More than all the artificial, immoral and emotional arguments for and against marriage, biology can prove to be a strong resource when explaining why there is a "natural order" found in the marriage between one man and one woman and all pro-life and NFP ideals.
Women are internal and men are external. Women like to bring things to themselves and men like to act outwardly which is mirrored in our anatomy. This comes down to how young children play with toys. Boys like to test toys and bang them against things (car crashes) and girls like to play house or play with dolls and create connected stories. This phenomenon continues through life. Women are internal and connected. We like to talk with each other, we like to console others and not worry about solving a problem. Men are made for separateness and external acts. They want that "man cave" to withdraw after a long day of problem-solving. They usually do not want to talk just to talk - they want to solve something. They withdraw and re-energize so they can come back and solve all the "problems" you bring up when you talk about your day.
When I first heard this talk, before I was married, I did not realize how true that was. One of the adjustments when my husband moved in after the honeymoon, was giving him some time to "withdraw" after a hard day. There is nothing that I can do to help him because that is not how he was made. I was also amazed at how many times I would clarify that I was not talking about a "problem" and was not looking for a solution.
Going back to the complimentary aspect. Women are internal: they want to help other feel loved, accepted, build community, etc. Men are external: they want to solve problems. Both have a hugely important role in our lives, but they need balance. It sounds stereotypical, but it is true in my life. The procreation difference (obviously same-sex partners to do that differently) is losing ground with contraception and IVF among other things - but our biology has stayed the same. We were created differently but equal.
The way I understand it in my life comes down to this scenario
When someone has had a hard day
Me to my husband: how can I help you relax/feel better?
My ideas: back massage, relax, have time alone while I clean up dinner
My husband to me: how can I fix the problem
His ideas: create a to do list, find a way to make x problem not occur again, if that is not possible find way to adjust routines etc. so problem is not so upsetting
Now, I am not saying that is the only thing my husband and I do. I want to help him fix problems and he wants to help me relax, but our first instincts are different and we learn from each other how to do that which does not come naturally.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Many blessings
Well, tomorrow is my birthday and I am feeling very blessed. I'm surrounded by people that care about me, not to mention all the material blessings I have been given all my life. Most of these things seem to have come for free - but some blessings you have to work toward.
All the blessings of my friendships did not happen overnight, you have to show you care and put some effort into the relationship. All the blessings from my marriage did not just appear either - we work at it and have learned from books based on Theology of the Body how to become a better spouse.
I found a NFP website that I think is helpful in explaining what I have learned. There is a quote in the bottom half of the article that explains how God's "love is free, total, faithful and fruitful." Since we are created in the image of God we need to try to love as He does. His love is freely given without any reservations. His love will never abandon you and is so strong that it needs to create more to love. We are called to love like that.
I would even look at it as a marriage mission statement. Love is a free gift, no strings attached. It is total in accepting the entire person (in fertility or infertility). Love is faithful through good and bad and love is fruitful. It can be fruitful in many ways, most obviously children. Less obvious is the ways in which spouses lift each other up and be witnesses to the community of marital love. Right now, I believe that is what I am being called to do through my life ministries. The thoughts and theology behind this post can be found here.
It has taken a while for me to fully accept the blessings that can occur. At first, it was hard to trust that I could read the signs of my body. A 4 month class doesn't completely undo the years of being told you could get pregnant at any time - one of the only things I remember from my teen health class and something that many people in college told me. But as the months have slipped by I have thought less about charting and more about how the love I feel has grown exponentially. I feel cherished and honored in my marriage knowing that I am being loved just the way God made me.
That love has raised me up to a higher goal - spreading the word. Words will never begin to describe the joy that has come into my life once I have truly meditated on and put into practice that which natural family teaches: openess to life.
All the blessings of my friendships did not happen overnight, you have to show you care and put some effort into the relationship. All the blessings from my marriage did not just appear either - we work at it and have learned from books based on Theology of the Body how to become a better spouse.
I found a NFP website that I think is helpful in explaining what I have learned. There is a quote in the bottom half of the article that explains how God's "love is free, total, faithful and fruitful." Since we are created in the image of God we need to try to love as He does. His love is freely given without any reservations. His love will never abandon you and is so strong that it needs to create more to love. We are called to love like that.
I would even look at it as a marriage mission statement. Love is a free gift, no strings attached. It is total in accepting the entire person (in fertility or infertility). Love is faithful through good and bad and love is fruitful. It can be fruitful in many ways, most obviously children. Less obvious is the ways in which spouses lift each other up and be witnesses to the community of marital love. Right now, I believe that is what I am being called to do through my life ministries. The thoughts and theology behind this post can be found here.It has taken a while for me to fully accept the blessings that can occur. At first, it was hard to trust that I could read the signs of my body. A 4 month class doesn't completely undo the years of being told you could get pregnant at any time - one of the only things I remember from my teen health class and something that many people in college told me. But as the months have slipped by I have thought less about charting and more about how the love I feel has grown exponentially. I feel cherished and honored in my marriage knowing that I am being loved just the way God made me.
That love has raised me up to a higher goal - spreading the word. Words will never begin to describe the joy that has come into my life once I have truly meditated on and put into practice that which natural family teaches: openess to life.
Friday, April 3, 2009
What did I get myself into?
That is a question that I have asked myself for the last couple months. Since I graduated college I have had the luxury of a lot of free time - working part time as a substitute gives you that. However, since the end of January I have:
1. joined the pro-life movement and jumped straight to VP
2. committed myself and my darling husband to training for NFP teachers
3. Taken on the permanent building substitute job (no more choosing to take the day off)
4. Started working with a spiritual director (which helps me process all of this)
Why did I do all of this at once? Well I have a few answers. Taking part in Natural Family Planning is in itself a pro-life lifestyle since I am open to the possibility of bringing a new life into this world at any time. My spiritual director is keeping me accountable for doing my best in both areas. And working everyday will help save money for when the time comes to either buy a house or start a family. So I guess what I am trying to say is that my life feels like it is going in fast forward the last couple months but all with one goal -
Fight for the Sanctity of all human life
All my involvement stemmed from learning about Natural Family Planning over time. I have learned a lot more about Theology of the Body as well and I wish more people were talking about this topic on a regular basis. Being part of the organic movement, it is nice to know that there are ways to live my life that work with what God has given me instead of fighting against it. I feel healthier and happier since I learned how to monitor the signs of my body. I also feel truly blessed that my husband is committed to the lifestyle and that I found it very easy to learn and use NFP.
Last, I thought I would explain that I put a picture of a flower on my blog instead of my picture to represent life. I can't wait for spring to truly arrive and flowers remind me of that new birth. The picture was taken by my husband while he was studying in Australia.
1. joined the pro-life movement and jumped straight to VP
2. committed myself and my darling husband to training for NFP teachers
3. Taken on the permanent building substitute job (no more choosing to take the day off)
4. Started working with a spiritual director (which helps me process all of this)
Why did I do all of this at once? Well I have a few answers. Taking part in Natural Family Planning is in itself a pro-life lifestyle since I am open to the possibility of bringing a new life into this world at any time. My spiritual director is keeping me accountable for doing my best in both areas. And working everyday will help save money for when the time comes to either buy a house or start a family. So I guess what I am trying to say is that my life feels like it is going in fast forward the last couple months but all with one goal -
Fight for the Sanctity of all human life
All my involvement stemmed from learning about Natural Family Planning over time. I have learned a lot more about Theology of the Body as well and I wish more people were talking about this topic on a regular basis. Being part of the organic movement, it is nice to know that there are ways to live my life that work with what God has given me instead of fighting against it. I feel healthier and happier since I learned how to monitor the signs of my body. I also feel truly blessed that my husband is committed to the lifestyle and that I found it very easy to learn and use NFP.
Last, I thought I would explain that I put a picture of a flower on my blog instead of my picture to represent life. I can't wait for spring to truly arrive and flowers remind me of that new birth. The picture was taken by my husband while he was studying in Australia.
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