Two messages, one story

In college, I really started to like satire. I loved Voltaire and appreciated the way he boldly wrote about current Christian trends. I was so impressed that I even attempted to write and turn in satire as a final paper. That is the only D I have ever received on an important assignment but it was worth it (I still got an A in the class). To explain a little further, it was for a world religions class in which I was required to make up my own religion. Well, anyone that knows me well has probably heard the story, but I think it is worth saying again.

I basically wrote in the intro/abstract that I had a religion and did not wish to create a true religion (probably where I lost all my points) so I took parts from most of the religions we learned about and wrote more about how many people practice it. I pulled from Catholicism, Protestantism, Judaism, etc. but everyone worshiped the same thing - CHOCOLATE. Not that I like chocolate or anything ;-)

In society, I see a lot of people (including myself at times) so focused on their life and their goals that they in a sense become their own god. Not that we would do this consciously, but our actions say "I can do this by myself, I have a supernatural power to accomplish all goals" The definition of religion for this class was that which deals with the supernatural. I wrote write in my paper that since we had been inspired to make the chocolate that we worshiped, we were actually worshiping ourselves. I don't think my professor appreciated that viewpoint of religion, but I was trying to write what I saw without going against my conscious and actually creating my own religion.

Now, why have I thought about that paper again? Interesting question, and it might be hard to follow my reasoning. I'm not sure if anyone has seen the show "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC but I have a couple of times. I originally watched one because I didn't know how that could be possible. With NFP, I am taught so many signs and am in tune with my own body enough to know for certain I am pregnant (whether I experience some bleeding during my pregnancy or not) within a very short time span. I argue that the show is a satire for the pro-life v. pro-choice debate. Women didn't want to be pregnant and were using "protection" to keep that from happening. What happened was not expected since labor is usually confused with cramps, indigestion or appendicitis. Yet as soon as the women give birth, they are only concerned about the health of their baby. This show points to me that so many times we debate the intellectual that we forget the emotional and physical attachments between mother and baby. A time that is so beautiful and sacred, that once these women give birth they couldn't imagine being without child. Shouldn't that part of the story be talked about more?

My mind must have wandered a bit this week....when have you found inspiration in an unlikely place?

Changes in Society

I was reading a blog and comments that talked about conforming law to things that happen in society. Many people want to do "x" so we should push to legalize it. Sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes it takes a long time - Women's suffrage took decades. There are a number of items like that in the news right now: legalizing marijuana, same-sex unions/marriages, universal health care....

Now that I have become broadly controversial in this post I think I'll narrow it down and get more controversial. A popular argument against teaching NFP in the Catholic Church is that most couples don't use it anyway; therefore, let us conform religion to society. Religion should be more binding than laws anyway. Religion is defined as pertaining to the supernatural. That does not change because society changes. I don't think it is possible that all the ancient religions and all the contemporary religions are 100% true. It just does not seem logical that the way the world was created and how it works changes when people's ideas change. So it is interesting that the stance on contraception has changed in that way. Most Christian denominations used to be against it quite recently, well after the modern dating practices started in this country.

What is my response to the argument? I love being Catholic - the church stands up for its beliefs against controversy and has been around long enough with enough theologians to research the topics just a bit. Some may see it as oppressive - I see it as an informed, conscientious decision that has withstood the test of time and opposition. If you look closely, the reasoning behind the position is at the very least respectable and in my eyes awe-inspiring.

Truth and Consequences

Recently I was a substitute in one of my former teacher's classrooms. When I walked into his classroom I was flooded with dreadful memories of my teen health class. Thankfully, I was only teaching English that day. Even so, it was quite an interesting experience for many reasons.

I don't remember much about my teen health class. I remember that the standard - don't do drugs, sleep is good for you, first aid - messages were present, but I have no idea how they were taught or any specifics. I do remember some specifics of the reproductive section. I remember some girls walking around the class with the pregnancy belly, though that did not deter one of the girls who became pregnant before finishing high school. I also remember the serious warning that a girl can become pregnant at any time in her cycle and that there is no way to know what time that is going to be. Was this a scare tactic or an actual fact? We went over statistical success rates of different methods. We also were taught multiple times that just because the Trojan brand is "most trusted" does not mean it is the "most trustworthy" - obviously this wasn't an abstinence only program.

Why do I still have issue with this 8 years later? Because it was a lie and there are consequences to lies. If one oddball teacher said this, no big deal - most people listened to him just enough to pass the class. The problem is, most of society says the same thing and it hurts me to know women I care about are being misinformed throughout their whole lives, starting with teen health class. My previous post on "Who is man for woman..." talks about lying with our bodies when using contraception. Lying is bad and can result in consequences. 13% of women face fertility issues and studies show that artificial contraception and abortion increase those rates. NFP charts back this up with infertile patterns seen when stopping hormonal contraceptives.

Quick story to put my anger and passion on this topic into perspective. I know someone who has been married for a couple years. She started the pill in high school for abdominal pain. She stayed on it for 8 years until she wanted to conceive. Since that time she has been unsuccessful, been diagnosed with PCOS, gone through major surgery, and had to change her diet and start taking Clomid. She is the one that brought this up and how she was upset her doctors didn't take the time to diagnose PCOS in the first place to treat her symptoms instead of just covering them up. When are doctors going to stop lying and saying this is a miracle pill and start taking a genuine interest in helping/treating their patient's individual needs?

Who is Man for Woman? Part 2

Amazing to know I have more to say on this right? I apologize for my last post (I guess I should have split this into 3 parts), but it is so hard to shorten these profound and completely relevant points that Fr. Loya has made. This post will be more concise and will contain two points: honesty and language.

First to address honesty. Most people would agree that honesty is part of what makes a person good, but Fr. Loya took that one step further. His argument is one of alliteration: Being honest will help make you holy, what is holy will bring happiness and also lead you to heaven if you are dishonest it will go in the opposite direction and result in harm of some kind.

Second point - language - is something more than just words. Fr. Loya talks about the language of the body. The language of the body can either honestly reflect the words you say or not. If two people become one in marriage, that means you are completely unified. You give the total gift of yourself. If you "speak" honestly with your body that includes everything, including your fertility. After all, God did make it possible to postpone pregnancy while still telling the truth with your body.

His conclusion: The Church is against contraception, not because they want lots of children to ease the shortage of priest, because it is a way for you to lie with your body.

rainbow

So I wrote a long post about the rain (pain), now I want to talk about a rainbow.

Right now the rainbow is my husband. The days and nights I have been in pain he has most definitely filled his role as provider/protector/supporter. Anything I ask for - I get! How nice is that? Now I'm sure if I asked for anything crazy he might stop this practice. Since my requests are limited to things like mint water (a natural relaxer/pain reliever), heating pad, etc, my wish is his command. One of my biggest requests for him lately is to help me relax. I jokingly mentioned the Bradly Method in my last post since we are not pregnant right now, but its philosophy of relaxing the body is relevant. My husband has practiced relaxation techniques and is really good at leading me through them. It is amazing how he can help me relax the rest of my body and in doing so, ease the burden of the pain (even though it doesn't go away). Hopefully this means we'll be in a good position if we do have children and choose to go through a natural birth.

Hopefully another rainbow in my future will be children. The possibility of future children is one of the things I keep in mind while I am going through the pain. Yes, it is painful now but what a great gift God has given women to receive love in such a way that lets us carry life within us and give birth. I can wait and make it through to that special day.

rain before the rainbow

Maybe I am bringing this up now because I am quite frankly in a bad mood. I'm not a fan of the subcaller in our district who called me and said I want you to work job A and when I call back her back she just says no, I don't need you anymore - good bye great 4 day job. Even without that, this topic is something that has been on my mind for a while.

So I am unofficially done with my NFP training. I have one more Saturday scheduled but that is more of a tie-up loose ends and distribute materials day so I don't expect much instruction. The whole time I was going through training it was very difficult to talk about some aspects of NFP. I am blessed with an NFP-only doctor which I have been seeing for around 4 years now, but that doesn't make everything perfect. He is a great doctor and truly believes in the Catholic Church and all of its teachings on fertility etc. so I know I am in great hands and I don't have to try to explain/justify my reasons for not going on the pill.

I guess it is not his fault that I chose to do things the hard way. I chose to have surgery (which discovered and removed endometriosis) and I thought that way I would be "cured" of all the pain I have experienced over the years. Well that most certainly has not happened. I can remember at least three instances, since the surgery in August, when my husband was so concerned for my well-being that he wanted to take me to the emergency room. I said no because I knew this pain and that, besides giving me large amounts of pain medicine, the doctors were going to say "it's just cramps" and there's really nothing we can do. What makes this worse? I have painful ovulations as well and I'm pretty sure I tend to have cysts that burst. Yesterday I woke up in ovulation pain but it went away pretty easily so I don't think anything burst this time.

So why am I writing this post? It's not to get pity, it is that I am completely frustrated and wondering if anyone has heard about different ways to reduce pain? I have called my doctor and he said that can happen and it's just how your body works. Well the whole reason I had the surgery was to diagnose and get rid of pain! I got a second opinion from a holistic doctor who wants to put me on a progesterone cream. He used to have me on a really high dose for most of my cycle (it is natural progesterone, not progesten so the time you can use it is extended). But that messed with my charts - some incredibly early peaks that were not predicted from my signs and could have meant I would be blessed with motherhood a bit earlier than expected. It also left me sleepy and I just don't like the idea of being on hormones. I don't know what to do next besides get pregnant which is probably not too far off (Lord willing) but not in the next couple cycles either.

Back to the beginning, it was incredibly hard to talk about all the "health benefits" of NFP while in training. Yes it helped me diagnose that I had endometriosis, but sometimes I feel like my health is worse and I would have felt better on the pill. Anyone have another idea I can try? I'm already working out and watching what I eat but it just seems to get worse. It is to the point that all I can do is lay down and have my husband coach me through relaxation techniques while I have a heating pad on my stomach - maybe this is my introduction to using the Bradley method of natural delivery.

Girl Power

So I tried to keep yesterday's post short and failed. I'll do better today. One point that Fr. Loya highlights from Pope John Paul II's TOB and repeats quite often just needed to be on its own to make a full impact. Ready?

Woman is the archetype of the human race. He didn't say this as a joke claiming Adam was the rough draft, he explained it as our gift of receptivity. The human race was created as something that God could pour His love into. Woman's body reflects that, so we are the archetype. I teased my fiance, now husband, when I heard him say this. I repeatedly asked him to answer who was the archetype because you don't hear the answer of "woman" very often to that; after all, Adam was created first. In reality, we aren't better or worse than men, just different.

I just had to point this out and put extra emphasis on woman. It is so easy to look at the practices of the Church (only men can be priests etc.) and forget how much admiration is found for women. A pope declared woman to be the archetype and truly respected all that we were created to be. I find it sad that most people can't understand that and think I am part of a religion that is oppressive to women when I feel the exact opposite.

Drawn to You

Has there ever been a person, topic or activity you felt drawn to? I think some things we are just meant to do. Some how early in high school I felt drawn to my husband. I can't remember how everything really happened at this point but I know I just felt like I could go to him and open up about some things I didn't tell many people.

The same thing can happen with topics and activities. Some people are drawn to working out and love the experience but for the life of me I can't figure out why that happens. I feel drawn to the pro-life movement and more specifically to educating people on Natural Family Planning. It is natural, safe and empowering. I have so much information and knowledge and freedom to let my body work in its own way and own time.

Finally I read an article that talks about Natural Family Planning in a way that I think will help priests. It talks about understanding the woman and drawing people in by explaining the beauty of the system. The full article comes in response to a recent conference, but there is a great excerpt from when Pope John Paul II was in California. Here is a firsthand account of his discussion on Theology of the Body and NFP:

Holy Father said that in the great and difficult moral issues we should teach in such a way that people would see church teaching as attractive and be drawn to it. A few months later, at lunch with several other bishops during the “ad limina” visit, I reminded him of what he said, and asked, “Holy Father, how do we do this?” The pope became very serious. Philosophical. “It is necessary to understand the soul of the woman. All these things which were meant to liberate her; premarital sex, birth control, abortion. Have they liberated her, or have they enslaved her?” The challenge he gave to the bishops on that lovely sunny day at the old mission in California must be taken up. It seems the beauty and attractiveness of Catholic moral teaching have only now begun to find a serious hearing among many people. We must take up the challenge to share, especially with our young people, the beauty of Catholic moral teaching in the area of sexuality and marital life, and the value of Natural Family Planning which respects the law of God and the dignity of the woman.