truly pro-life

There is nothing more exciting than being open to life and where it leads you. Today it led me to the priviledge of watching my 10 wk old neighbor all day while her mom had to go back to work. Her mom is a school teacher and has different people watching her each day for the 14 days she was required to work, then she gets to be home for the summer.

Well we had a great morning so I thought we would go out somewhere and boy is it exciting getting all the attention a newborn draws! Everyone comes up and smiles and the world is a nicer and happier place. That is all the argument or experience I need to be pro-life. These babies are our future, and even if we are not their mothers, we have a responsibility to take care of them and the world around them. Maybe it is for this reason that I try to stay out of the political and look more at the social aspects of being pro-life. What are people thinking and why? How can we show what great blessings children are and how much the world misses the ones that were taken?

I guess today I just need to share a smile and time with a precious little girl. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

Finally...a decision

It is so good to know I made a decision about something. I didn't realize how much it had been draining me until after I made an action plan and stuck with it. I am re-energized and actually looking forward to the summer when I'll have too much time off. I found something I am excited to do in those slow weeks which fits my passions and the causes I want to help succeed. Are you ready for it?

I'm organizing.

Yes, that is right. I have talked about my organizing hobby before and I watched Oprah last week (something I never do but won't go into why - too long/controversial) because Peter Walsh was on it. What? He doesn't have the name recognition of Tom Cruise or Julia Roberts? Well he does in my book because he is my favorite professional organizer and he used to be on the show called Clean Sweep.

Okay, well I guess I'm not "professional" because I am a volunteer, but I am helping at a pregnancy center. The director asked for my personal help and said she has had difficulty organizing her office since things got rearranged in the beginning of the month, do I have any organization skills? How perfect! It feels a little like God is rewarding me for making a hard decision and sticking with it. Maybe it is more an answer to my prayer and an opportunity to serve, but I'm loving it all the same. It is good to know that my random talents/interests are needed somewhere.

Can't wait to help someone else and get out of the self-focused, decision making mode! I think I made a good decision but, unfortunately that came at the cost of being a little more self-absorbed than usual. Hopefully I find a way to serve others today instead of mope about because my husband will be gone for a week.

Hope everyone had a wonderful Memorial Day and thanks to all our veterans and service men and women!

Happy 50th Anniversary

Many of you know the 50th anniversary of the pill was this month (at least widespread legal use of it). I'm a little late, but at least I'm in the right month. Many people have also written about this topic and what is popular or common belief now. Mainstream culture may have celebrated the anniversary, but at least one WSJ article talked about a lot of the facts. Seeing those facts brings me back to the summer I spent on researching the topic before the pill was widely available - all the way back to the 20s. Basic conclusion is still the same - contraception won't and can't solve all the social problems it promises to do away with (i.e. unexpected pregnancies). And as I linked to earlier in the comparison to smoking - there are also serious health risks.

Some other promises of birth control have also not been realized. "Sexual freedom" is not a reality because the physical bonding ties us to our "partners" and the more partners we have, the less satisfying the "bond" experience. Freedom should not limit bonds and trust. Artificial BC can do both. Not to mention the fact that women still must deal with unplanned pregnancies even if using the pill. It's a hard truth to face, but here is another one:

NFP never seems to get noticed. A scientifically based method of spacing/preventing births is ignored or seen as backward church talk. People don't think about the lack of side effects, free cost and life benefits received by practicing self-control. Even so, some sex-therapists recommend periodic abstinence as a way of rekindling romance. If it's available every day - no big deal. If some random days are picked to abstain the waiting builds anticipation (and maybe romance) and anticipation leads to greater satisfaction. If only that could be combined with a natural way of postponing pregnancy.....oh wait, that is exactly what NFP does? Amazing!

Angels & Demons

Well this post is more serious than I will be in Sicily, Italy! It is the last stop on our cruise. We will have one day at sea and then I'll be on my way home. Maybe I will take time to do a Friday reflection...maybe not. Hope everyone has enjoyed the blast from the past (year old posts) and update on my location. Can't wait to tell everyone about it!

Usually, you would think those two beings are opposites. Would anyone mistake an angel for a demon? Certainly they wouldn't in pictures - one usually has thorns on its head and the other white wings. One is all good and one is inherently bad.

Unfortunately, in real life, angels and demons can easily be confused. Something may sound really good, but is it just because of the careful wording that is being used? Universal, rights, liberties and justice all look like "angelic" words. We forget that those words can also be used for evil to an extreme - Hitler arguing that justice involved killing innocent people. It is easy to point out the extremes of the past and say "of course that was wrong," but Hitler won political power before he started his radical killing spree. People of the time did not understand everything that was going on and many supported him.

So I ask anyone that reads this - how do you figure out who/what is an angel or demon? How do you explain to someone that something that is seen as incredibly bad by the media is not actually that way? Are we on the right track as a country/world or are there some things that are slipping by us that will have serious consequences later? The dichotomy of angel v. demon may be a bit extreme - but I think calling pro-life advocates terrorists is pretty extreme as well. A true pro-life person is someone who respects everyone's individual right to life - whether a healthy 20 yr old going to school, an elderly grandma, a baby in the womb, or even a criminal. How can standing up for life be a terrorist action? How are we causing terror? I was reminded twice yesterday that pro-lifers are terrorists and that has me wondering why? Any help would be appreciated - the concern of mine is that the movement will be even easier to dismiss once it is widely labeled as a terrorist organization (has that already happened?).

Friday Reflection v.1 n.13

During my trip I'm going to schedule a couple of my favorite post from months ago. Reading my early posts re-energizes me because I can remember how passionate I was about both causes then - before some of the struggles and frustrations. This was originally posted last April.

This morning I contemplated something that would cause so many to lose hope. The pro-life movement seems nowhere near its ultimate goal of ending abortion. Many leaders, including President Obama, do not support the movement. Nothing I can do by myself will change that fact. I have never been a dreamer - I am just one person. Uniting with millions more is still not enough for me to think I can change the world.

What keeps the movement going? For some it is belief that what they know to be true will triumph in the end. It is a complicated issue the involves social justice which most people want. Unfortunately, there are many groups in this world that want to achieve justice through their ideas and aren't concerned about other points of view or other developing people. I wish these groups could work togetherbut, all too often, we get stuck arguing over the means with which to get there. One of those means for many people is abortion. I don't see an agreement coming any time soon - but that doesn't mean we should give up and stop seeking a solution. There are unfathomable odds against the pro-life movement and yet the movement just won't go away - kind of like the abolition movement that seemed never-ending.

For me there is something more to it. It is my faith in God that has drawn me to the movement. Anything that happens in the group I help, will be from God, not me. God can handle and fight against the unfathomable - I cannot. Although I don't intend this blog to be "religious" and I am so thankful for all the nonreligious that support the movement, every once in a while it needs to be stated that there is something bigger giving me the strength to give my all to this cause. I could not do it by myself. I would get stressed out and decide it's not worth it - but I know someone who went through much more and stayed true to His faith. Hopefully I can continue to do the same.

New Volunteer Opportunity

For the past couple months I have been trying to take a step back from my life. I tried to let myself move to the background so that I could be led in the right direction. So many times I have thought "I should do this" and then go fulfill my wishes without looking back. Many of those things have been good, but maybe not the best. Maybe I could have done something better or more exciting instead of having blinders on until I decided I finished the task.

On the other hand, my husband the chef is quite the opposite. He has to approach multiple angles multiple times before coming to a decision in the first place. This is a great skill to have, even if it is not the most convenient when shopping for a new camera or at the grocery store. I know what I want and I'm ready to be done while my husband has barely started.

Now that you have both stories maybe you'd like to know the why behind it. I have tried to follow my husband's method of making a decision and realized I'm not very good at it. There is too much time for doubt and confusion to slow me down. Wait, wasn't that the point in the first place? Oh yes, well it's been months on the same question and I just can't get a clear answer - although I just might have today. Should I fade out of one group to have more time to volunteer for another? That is the months old question. Today, on the day when I put another commitment before my commitment to be at a meeting, I got an email about a volunteer opportunity. I didn't ask for the email or contact the group in quite a while, but I got the email on the day I am "skipping" the meeting for the group in question for something at church.

hmmm....hmmmm.... something else to ponder on my trip - maybe ;-D

People v. Property

Last night I finally watched the movie Amazing Grace about the slave trade in England. It was a great movie and I truly enjoyed it. It also got me quite hopeful. Here was a story of someone who was going against the weight of the world. The slave trade was necessary even if it was evil and, what's more, it was completely legal and supported by the government. After all, society would fall apart if slaves did not produce sugar because the economy would not survive.

In so many ways, the movie seemed to parallel the fight in which I am involved.

Movie/slavery: "property" was needed to increase economic stability

My life/abortion: "property" is private and needs to be disposed of to increase economic and emotional stability

Movie: it was taboo to bring the subject up in polite company, because of course William Wilberforce was crazy to think he could bring about change in a matter of private property - even if hundreds die on each trip to the West Indies

Life: Of course it is crazy to think government will change on the subject of abortion because it is a matter of privacy, not a matter of killing millions of babies

Movie: years of evidence of unsanitary conditions, opposition, cruelty and deaths did not work very quickly - more like decades

Life: years of evidence of life (especially in the last trimester when the baby is viable) has not led to more restrictive rules

I wonder if my life story will turn out the same - not that I will be the modern day Wilberforce, but that a change will come. It doesn't seem any less likely or less than the slavery issue. After all, they were property too.

Sanctity of Human Life Weekend

As I said last week, I went to D.C. for the March for Life. I'm not usually into crowds or protests but I felt God calling me to go so I listened. It was an interesting experience, but I don't have an emotional testimony to give from it. Here are a few thoughts from the entire weekend. And a picture that can't even begin to show how many people showed up. Estimates I heard - 450,000!

1. I'm glad I read this post about loving others. Our bus stopped at a second location to fill up (although there would be two seats vacant the whole way). I went with one other person who is very tall. His friend canceled making one seat available which he claimed so I sat across the aisle from him. It came down to the last person getting on who could choose to sit next to me or up two rows next to another young woman. I was tempted to stay put on the outside seat and force him to ask someone. He was tall and didn't look like my new best friend, but I decided to stand up and let him in before he was forced to ask. And I learned more from him than I did from anything else all weekend.

2. As much as I appreciate the political aspect of this fight and informing voters so we can elect pro-life leaders, I don't feel called to protest. There were some negative signs that just looked critical to me. Even though this march is known to be the most peaceful and respectful, there are still harsh criticisms on signs that I don't appreciate and believe most pro-choicers feel the same.

3. What will help us? Truth and love. My favorite signs were ones that said things like "Love them both" we are fighting for children - not against people. While I don't agree with abortion policy, yelling at people who support it is not going to change their minds. Giving a loving message on the beautiful miracle of conception and life might lead them to start thinking either now or in the future. I hope to plant seeds of love and I'm trying to think of more ways to gently do that.... Anyone have some suggestions?

Friday Reflection v. 1 n. 2

I will be arriving in D.C. at 6am Friday morning for the anniversary of Roe v. Wade (so I wrote this a bit early). I will get to go to Mass at the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception. I have been to that church before and it is gorgeous. I will then take place in my first march - never done something so political in my life! With all that going on, this week I haven't even reflected much on the political side of this debate. I have been drawn to the personal side once again.

I am thankful for my family. My mother and father were happy to accept twins and a baby brother 5 years later. My father always celebrates life and told me as a child if I didn't want to do something - I didn't have to. This was in reference to fun activities - I wasn't forced to try or play every sport and activity. My parents made sure my life was relatively balanced and full of joy. I was born much later than 1973 so abortion would have been an easy option had my parents been in a different situation with different morals. My dad always took time to remind me that he would rather have his happy family than be able to afford a fancy car like some of his co-workers. I am truly blessed to know my family as well as the family I married into are family-focused and full of pro-life support. So, for my reflection today, while I am in the midst of a huge political march, I realize that all the politics would mean nothing if we did not have the example of loving families and caring pregnancy center workers. Thank you to everyone who works to promote a culture of life.

Manhattan Declaration

I'm not sure what took me so long to write about this document that came from an inter-denominational meeting. The declaration stands up for the sanctity of all human life, the sacredness of marriage between man and woman, and freedom of conscience and religion.

It is a great document that has over 300,000 signatures supporting it. If you would like to sign and haven't yet, click here. My favorite part from the defense for life is below

We will be united and untiring in our efforts to roll back the license to kill that began with the abandonment of the unborn to abortion. We will work, as we have always worked, to bring assistance, comfort, and care to pregnant women in need and to those who have been victimized by abortion, even as we stand resolutely against the corrupt and degrading notion that it can somehow be in the best interests of women to submit to the deliberate killing of their unborn children. Our message is, and ever shall be, that the just, humane, and truly Christian answer to problem pregnancies is for all of us to love and care for mother and child alike.

Whereas I don't shy away from confrontation, I do try to shy away from the blame game. This paragraph did better than the one above to site what we intend to do - giving mothers the choice of support, compassion and resources when dealing with a difficult and scary situation. While all the information is great and the stance the writers took is excellent, parts left me asking for more. Granted it is just a paper giving a position and not a social justice plan of action, but I would like something like that to follow. I think something like that should be paired with the Manhattan Declaration to make it even more powerful. Anyone know a good resource or document that shows ways/ideas of how to help instead of just listing the evils in society?

Health Care Update

Christmas is officially over. Ornaments have been put away and trees are absent. I no longer see stockings hanging from my fireplace and Christmas carols are long forgotten. Students are back in school and soon all members of congress will be back at work in D.C.

Health Care has not passed yet. Some people say that since both house and senate have passed their version, health care is as good as completed and implemented. I beg to disagree with my husband's doctor who made the statement and many other who I'm sure have been led to believe it. The house version included the Stupak-Pitts amendment that puts limits on abortion coverage and basically makes sure we don't go further than the status-quo. The Senate version is drastically different. Consider contacting your representatives as they return to D.C.

* Representatives return to D.C. January 12th
** Senators return January 20th

Loving Others

Right now I am reading a book on Mother Teresa. The book is insightful and straightforward - just my kind of reading, yet I'm having a problem finishing it. The dense reading may be giving me too much to ponder.

One of the biggest themes of the book, along with many other spiritual books, is about how to be God's love for others. What I like about this one is all the great analogies and real life examples. I don't need to go to Africa and become a missionary to be God's light to others. I can start right where I am with who I meet and talk to on a daily basis. I can't think of a better pro-life stance than that. Part of the way to do that is...


Tough Love
I have always believed in tough love. One of the few bible verses that comes to my mind often is Proverbs 27:17. To paraphrase - iron sharpens iron, so man should sharpen man. I don't feel sharper if I have sugar-coated conversations all the time. Mother Teresa was a shining example of loving others with true compassion no matter who they were or what they had done, but she didn't stop there. Tough issues were addressed and in her 1979 Nobel Lecture she noted:

The poor people are very great people. They can teach us so many beautiful things. The other day one of them came to thank me, and said, "You people who have evolved chastity, you are the best people to teach us Family Planning. Because it is nothing more than self-control out of love for each other."

I love the way she started that statement with compliments. It is easier to hear a hard truth if you can first feel the love and acceptance of God - no matter where you are at in your life. She also spoke about the dangers of abortion and I encourage you to use the link above to read more of what this amazing woman said. Like her lecture, I can be tough and, hopefully, loving at the same time. I am learning through the example of those who went before me, but it is a long process. So, for today, I will let the loving words of Mother Teresa be the main focus of the post. NFP was accepted and appreciated by the poor. Again, I don't know any better pro-life stance or argument than that.

Politically Incorrect

When did the term politically correct come to mean polite and non confrontational? The phrase just does not make sense to me. I seem to be politically incorrect quite often be it my eating habits (which don't follow the low-fat ideology but do include lots of healthy produce) or my use of NFP for health and spiritual benefits.

My issue with politics and the expectation to be "politically correct" in terminology and topic choice is that it seems to prevent us from having thought out conversations about the true issues. One issue I have studied a lot is birth control. I studied the history behind the 1920s movement to promote it, the church history of when different denominations allowed it, and the side effects linking it to stroke, breast cancer and more. Unfortunately, it is politically incorrect to bring this topic up - especially if you are against it in most instances (there are medical benefits for some women). Since my husband's family doesn't follow "politically correct conversation topics" a discussion started about why we should hand out free contraceptives. Unlike this topic, I did not let it go.

I argued that this would not be a good use of my tax dollars. Before you think I'm too extreme, I also stated that I don't believe abstinence-only education is effective. I believe teens and young adults should be taught about what is out there - they know it exists! Trying to hide the obvious can come off as close-minded and unenlightened no matter how beautiful you message is. However, when you hand out the pill or condoms for free, you condone and promote behavior that uses that method and people forget there are other ways to act and other successful methods of family planning. I was never taught about NFP in school or church and, even at my small Christian college, the pill was pushed as my only option for my medical complaint. It is saddening that even young people who want another way have trouble finding it.

People barely heard me. I was just told that not everyone is as smart or sensible as me and it is the only way to prevent supporting more people on welfare. How do you compassionately respond to that comment? And if you agree, why do you think it is the only/best solution?

Don't you like people?

My husband's family did not get the memo - don't speak religion or politics at Christmas gatherings. Even so, it was refreshing to debate topics like women priests as well as social justice issues and how that relates to politics. I don't get a chance to share my knowledge and opinion on those subjects very often.

During one political discussion between siblings I overheard the line "Don't you like people?" The question was directed at her brother who announced he had voted for McCain. I decided that was just too easy to turn into an abortion debate, but decided to stay out of it - my much younger cousin decided to take the bait and discuss Obama's abortion position and record. He must have been shocked by her response (a neo-natal doctor) :

"I would preform an abortion on anyone"

Does anyone else find this ironic? How is it that, according to some, we can claim to be compassionate when we kill babies yet if we voted against Obama we don't like people?

Days of Entitlement

Originally, I had this blog mostly as a journal for myself. I didn't have to worry about coming off as prideful or arrogant or anything else because it was just me typing away so my thoughts don't stay jumbled up in my head. As I have said before, a hobby of mine is organizing. I like to have things in their proper place and I like to put things away. This blog started so I could put my thoughts away. So this is me putting my thoughts away on our culture of entitlement even though I am by no means an expert and I'm still working through how to change myself.

Most people would agree that we are living in an age of entitlement even if we argue about the cause. I will keep my opinions on the cause to myself so we can just focus on the topic: Entitlement

As Americans, most of us live with so much. We can have food when we want it (even if we do not feel like cooking) we can buy new clothes when we want, we can go on the computer and blog when we want - this list could go on for quite a long time. The point being, we are used to getting our way when we want something. Said like that it sounds selfish doesn't it?

Of course, this doesn't go for every situation. In high school, my Christian friends would somehow get on the topic of *ahem* intimacy all the time! They would talk about how they were doing good at the self-control thing right now, but when they got married all bets were off. A couple of my friends, in high school and college, talked about how they didn't want to go on a honeymoon at all, but instead wanted to take a month off of work so they could spend a lot of time in bed "getting to know" their spouse.

How does this relate to NFP you ask? In my friends commentary they saw intimacy as something forbidden until marriage and experienced on demand after the vows are said. If you look at it as something that is always available, sometimes the sacredness and specialness of the act is overlooked. It is not instant gratification like fast food, it is something that was created to bring a couple closer to God and each other. NFP has taught me how to look at the marital union in a less selfish and more sacramental way. On the other hand, society (and birth control) have taught us that it is good and should be done as often as possible. Unfortunately, it seems like this country is concerned about quantity over quality in so many activities and parts of our lives.

I don't know how my friends are doing now in that category. I wonder if they still have the opinion that since I'm married now I'm entitled to A. Although I agree in saving yourself until marriage, I think the teaching philosophy is flawed. Just because all of a sudden it is "good" once you say your vows, does not mean you are entitled to it at any particular time. And that seems to be the biggest issue with NFP - but we're married so we can do this when we want, not just when my body allows. No one is taught that this act of love is a total giving of yourself so NFP just doesn't make sense. Anyone know how to explain that without sounding arrogant like I'm sure I did in this post? Again, I write this more as a means of putting away my thoughts than anything else.