Yesterday I was reading a blogpost on feminism. I'm not going to try to dissect that term, but I did want to talk about one theme. In the 1920s women's movement we were given the right to vote and it became more acceptable to work outside the home. I'm glad women have the option to go to school, work and marry for love instead of economic necessity. In that area we are all truly lucky and should be thankful of the women that came before us for paving the way.
However, when did that choice become mandatory? I have received a lot of unsolicited advice from family, friends and strangers about how I can advance my career. Honestly, it would not be that difficult to advance from substitute teacher - any full-time job would be a step up - but most people are saying I should go back to school for a year (standards changed and my certification is already out of date). Most of the time, I go along with it because that is the path of least resistance. Yes, it is easier to go back to school when you are young and yes that would make my individual financial future a bit brighter.
On the other hand, no one has asked what I want to do. I don't want to be a full-time teacher. I would get a full time job if I needed one but, truth be told, it's not necessary. With mainly my husband's income, we have been able to save a good deal of money for trips and future expenses. When did the freedom to choose life outside the home become a mandatory life goal? I'd rather have a loving family that I have time to nurture and support. So here is a shout out to all the stay at home moms. I think you have a fabulous job that is so crucial to the benefit of society.
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that's not true, I've only asked questions. I wouldn't want to go back to school right now, we just got done with that! I think you have a great set up, and I truly believe that you'll be where you're supposed to be. I can't wait for us to be moms someday and have the time to enjoy watching little ones grow up!-melissa
ReplyDeleteI didn't say everyone in every situation was telling me the same thing - just that I have had a lot of people in the past week do so. Most people that graduated less than 5 years ago have not advised the school route. I appreciate your support and encouragement :-)
ReplyDeleteWhenever "the talk" comes up (you know, the one about what I'm going to do with this PhD. I'm getting) I tend to take the path of least resistance too. The hard thing is that I am a really bad liar, so it usually goes a lot better when the other person keeps talking, so I can just nod in agreement. Who knows what I'll end up doing. I don't have it all figured out yet, but I have to say that comments like "Women who just stay at home after advanced degrees just wasted their education" (my boss) reeeaaallly make me not want to mention that I'm seriously considering that as an option. ::sigh:: i need more courage!
ReplyDeleteThat and the whole "I want kids but don't know if I'll be blessed with them and what to do in the meantime" makes planning very difficult!
I hear you...part of why I have actually gotten into the blogging thing - I can find similar views to help build mine up and give me new ways to articulate myself. I am told I have an awful poker face so I'm with you with the "bad at lying" thing. God will give courage, and I imagine if/when the blessing of children arrive it will be easier to actually make the decision and defend it than to think about it hypothetically.
ReplyDeleteAbsolute ditto to Alison!! I visited my family this weekend and realized again the difficulty I will have if/when I choose to become a SAHM. When my grandma asks what I want to do when I graduate, I can easily say "have a baby!" and she's thrilled. My dad on the other hand thinks that the life of a professor is perfect for me because then I'll be off when the child is in school - sort of a stay at home/work compromise, at least once they're older. And my younger brother flat-out tells me that he'll give me a really hard time if I "don't do anything" with my degree.
ReplyDeleteOf course they'll eventually support me in whatever I choose - but like you said, most people assume you'll "choose" a full-time career. And like Alison said, how do you plan in the meantime when you're not sure if/when the blessing of children will come along?
I thought I had a point to this, but I'm just rambling now. I'll wind up by saying that I'm with you, Jenelle, in how affirming blogging can be.
I found your blog through Saturday Evening Post, and I'm so glad I did. I am a senior citizen who says to you and others, "Follow your heart." Good for you on the NFP. My husband and I used NFP very happily for decades.
ReplyDeleteIt's always great to get encouragement - thanks Elizabeth and Ruth Ann
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