I have to admit that I have gotten to the point in my marriage when people have declared we are past the "newlywed" phase and with that comes questions about children. I don't know if I was deaf to it in my first year of marriage, but the topic seems to come up a lot more than it used to - even with strangers. I was guest teaching in a classroom last week and the teacher said "avoid as long as possible" which made me stop and think.
If children are such a blessing, why must we avoid? Doesn't that word just sound wrong? I'm starting to realize how much wording can affect attitude and perception. If something needs to be avoided - it must be bad somehow. People want to avoid children so they can go on trips and live their lives because once the kids are here its over right? It's all about them. Now, I don't have personal experience with this dilemma but it just doesn't sound right. It paints the picture that I will be a servant to my children, not in a Christian love kind of way but in a "do as you're told" scenario. I'm just not sure if two year olds can handle that kind of power, but I'm getting away from my initial point.
Waiting vs. Avoiding
Esentially it looks like the same thing, but is totally different in my mind. Right now my husband and I are waiting to have children for a number of reasons that give us concern about our ability to provide all the needs of our child. My life doesn't look any different than someone is avoiding children. I hope my mindset is a bit different, but it is hard to know for sure. Question of the day: are we giving/getting bad advice to avoid pregnancy/children? And to follow that up: How do we prepare for kids if mentally we have to go from avoiding to accepting and loving children?
I'd really like some feedback and answers if anyone has some. The best I can say is that NFP has helped me contemplate the whole "openess to life" idea and how far that extends. I know it is part of my life and something that will hopefully help me ease into parenthood a little easier. I look forward to children being part of my family life and enjoying that time not "getting it over with." I can't predict the future or know that everything will be perfect, but I know that my family (husband and I) are planning and anticipating the day when we can lovingly bring a child into our home.